don't fear the sun.

I think I figured out my angle on the Irene Holm project. I'm not going to tell it from Irene's PoV, although I'm dying to one day look inside her head - some other project, maybe - but from the pastor's daughter's, instead, who I have headcanonically dubbed, Ruth Overgaard (she isn't mentioned by name in canon). I ship the two of them greatly.

Honestly, it was a question of picking between one thematically exciting character (ballet themed Irene Holm) or another (Christianity themed Ruth) - and Ruth won out. Besides, I think there's more drive in Ruth. Irene just passes between towns, repeating her dance classes over and over, I want to write something a little less impressionistic than that. Something with more plot. Which is saying something for how little plot there is in Irene Holm as a short story, because when even I - who remain plot allergic, ngl - am trying to find a way to introduce plot into the set-up, it's pretty fucking plot-less there to begin with, haha.

I have the general outline of the story figured out. Ruth overhears a visitor to the rectory say that Irene Holm has started classes in a nearby market town and that, unrelated, said market town's pastor is temporarily looking for a housekeeper, since his wife just died and he has two small children. Ruth suggests to her father that he could send her to help out his colleague and he reminds her that she will be marrying soon (she's engaged to the curate). They share a moment, because the pastor knows his daughter was completely smitten with Irene when she was here and can figure out why she might want to go to that market town, besides charity. However, he allows her to go, if the other pastor wants the help, if nothing else giving her three months' worth of freedom before having to marry the curate. The market town's pastor happily accepts and off Ruth goes to live over winter in the other rectory, in the other town, where Irene is.

After that, Ruth will be trying to help Irene, who is so caught up in her old life in Copenhagen, to settle in the reality she lives now, somehow support her in a process of growing back into herself. Getting rid of her fears gradually. It's going to be a story about setting ourselves and others free in love.

That's the plot, I guess - and that is as much plot as I can manage. I was never a plotty writer, you didn't hear me say that, I'm just saying, I'm not Herman Bang either.



I was downtown yesterday to see my doctor (which went really well! all my bloodwork checks out, more or less) and afterwards, I bought the prettiest notebook for the Irene Holm project (I like to have a notebook for each project I work on, as you might imagine, I have a lot of fucking notebooks, lol) and sat down at the local library with my computer to relax and have some coffee and just - be out of the house for a while. In the end, I stayed out too long and was completely wiped in the evening, but it was a good time. I got both some note-taking done, some RP'ing done and just... yeah, relaxed.



There's a book I really want. It's a Danish female theologian's introduction to the female characters of the Bible, introducing traditional and modern interpretations of each biblical woman and her theological context. It's a big one, 500 pages, fully illustrated and just... a really lush piece of publication. It was released last year and I've wanted it since I first saw it, but it's also pretty expensive, so I haven't had the chance of actually purchasing it yet. Maybe I can put it on my X-mas wishlist. If I don't cave in before, haha.



Currently I'm completely obsessed with Carl Nielsen's A Dream About Silent Night, a piano piece working with the melody of "Silent Night" and then just, elaborating on that theme. It's such a gorgeous, serene little piano work and I can't stop listening to it. Very Danish, very simple, but so pretty. We have the word "hygge" in Danish, some of you may know it, it's to describe a state of mind devoid of conflict and things to upset you. This piece of piano music is "hygge".





My Claudine book has furthermore arrived at the bookstore where I will go pick it up next week! Very excited about that.

I was downtown yesterday, because I had a therapy appointment and usually, when I have therapy I buy myself a treat afterwards as a reward for surviving, basically. Yesterday, I came early and therefore went to my favourite bookstore which is nearby and browsed their English section, as I often do (especially the poetry shelves) and I came across a little treasure that I absolutely had to own.

A publishing project called Novellix publishes small boxes of four stories in each, often thematically arranged and displaying a wide array of Danish and international writers. They're perfect gift size and the aesthetics are always very good. They're not too expensive either (170 kroner for four short stories isn't too bad) and generally really good quality from what I've seen. Well, in the English section, someone had stored away a box of theirs called "Danish Classics", four classic Danish short stories translated into English. H.C. Andersen, Henrik Pontoppidan, Karen Blixen and Herman Bang were the representatives here for all classic Danish literature and I got a bit irritated that they'd picked an Andersen fairy tale rather than representing another female writer, but whatever. Andersen sells, I know. I mostly bought the whole set for Herman Bang. I'm not a big fan as such of Impressionism in literature, too minimalist for my tastes, but Bang is in a category of his own. His portraits of women in his day and age are unrivalled and they had chosen to translate my absolute favourite of his stories, Irene Holm.

I know it probably isn't widely known outside Denmark, but in Denmark this is the story everyone reads and analyses in the ninth grade or something like that. Something that could easily make you hate a piece of literature, but I have carried Irene Holm close to my heart ever since I was 15 and read it the first time. Why? Well, reading this English translation, it dawns on me that Irene Holm is the queerest fucking story ever told. It could easily be interpreted as lesbian (though, naturally, I have never heard this brought up in school or by anyone else). Considering that Herman Bang was a known homosexual even in the late 19th century when he lived and it was against the law, I think there's a fair chance this is exactly his intention with it.

So, I reread it in English yesterday on my way home in the bus and I have never loved Irene Holm more than I do now. It's such an elegant, tragic and heartfelt little narrative. I want to write fanfiction about it, to be honest. It has all the elements I can't stay away from, tragic female fate, former ballerina, the Danish provinces...

So, while I will finish my Swan Lake project (of which I write more further down) for my girlfriend's birthday, I think I will write her an Irene Holm Christmas calendar in November. It's going to be my NaNoWriMo project this year. A fanfiction exploring her winter spent in the nearby town, the pastor's daughter coming by to visit because those two totally had an affair, I will fight you over this. I need some time to plot out the story itself, but it's going to be quiet and very Danish (but in English) and very, very lesbian.

( Therapy talk )

And because I'm now trapped in the era, have some of my favourite Danish artwork by Hammershoi, late 19th-early 20th century. His use of the grey palette and the lighting is so exquisite and seeing his paintings when I go to Copenhagen and visit the museums there always puts me at ease. They feel like embraces. I love especially Danish painting from the period and any chance I can get to see it, I grab. Reminding me, I need to buy an all-season pass for our local art museum in Aarhus. They have some good stuff from this period, too.

Last time I went to Copenhagen, before the pandemic, I took this picture myself of my favourite of his paintings:



But I also really like this one:



And because this entry is apparently going to be Danish National League, I'm currently listening to Carl Nielsen and loving these piano compositions so much!



( Some ballet talk )

Lastly, also about ballet, I've been working on a Swan Lake writing project for K's birthday and I got to a good start Monday, but got nothing written yesterday. It's a prose poetry-type thing again, a sort of Book of Proverb's prophetic work detailing things Odette has said to her swan maidens that they, after the end of the ballet, raise up to almost religious heights and collect in a book, represented by the fic I'm writing. I really like the idea of priestess/acolyte type relationships and I think Odette with her swan maidens really lend herself to that.

You get a small excerpt and then I will shut up about ballet for now, promise. The fic is called, Water-Born Wisdom.

CHAPTER THREE.

( one. ) Only humans who have not known the feeling of webbed feet would ask, why do waterfowl always gather in the shallow end of the pond? ( two. ) We, who have walked in single file and flown in wedge, accept the answer – it is because we can touch the bottom of the lake there and for a moment, we may imagine that our legs are lean and long, our toes separate, and that we will at last sink below the surface, were we to stop kicking.

( three. ) It is a double-edged sword, how the hollow bones and the plumage we wear like costume prevent us from drowning. We must be alive in order to fight for our freedom, while the very act of being alive ensures first and foremost that we remain caged inside ourselves.

( four. ) There is revolt to it, just as there is enforced submission. Wings for arms, feathers for skin. ( five. ) Swans do not flock together to feed on crumbs, nor do we flock together to stand the ground but rather, to stand the water.

( six. ) Therefore, stand your water, sisters. Stand your water, your Queen commands.

Finally, I wanted to ask my friends' list because a lot of you people like good literature... The Novellix box I mentioned up above holds four short stories in separate little books and I only need the Irene Holm one. They're very small and should be easy to ship, so if anyone would like a Danish classic short story in English, let me know. I'll present the options here. Please only pick one, I'd like as many as possible to get the chance of having one.

Don't worry about the shipping fees, I'll pay. As long as you are okay with it being sent in my own time, so it might take a while to get to you.

H. C. Andersen, LITTLE CLAUS AND BIG CLAUS

Poor Little Claus' only horse is beaten to death by his wealthier namesake, Big Claus. But with a little cunning, and trick by trick, Little Claus turns his dead horse into a fortune by exploiting the villagers' superstitious beliefs. In this Andersen classic, fortune favours the clever.

HENRIK PONTOPPIDAN, THE GRIM REAPER

After several years of hard labour, Simon and Ane are finally able to pay the last installment on their bank loan. It is supposed to be the time for the couple to relax a little more and perhaps have children. But Ane has a strange feeling: an illness is growing inside of her.

KAREN BLIXEN, THE PEARLS

During their honeymoon to Norway, Jensine makes several disheartening realisations about her husband, Alexander. Combined with the rumours of war spreading in the newspapers, Jensine begins to ponder what the future will bring. Her worries flow over: she accidentally snaps her pearl necklace, a family heirloom...

That's it. A very long entry from me today. If you've gotten all the way through this, you deserve a present, honestly.