don't fear the sun.

Title: The Last Stage of Grief Is Drowning
Author: sunfright
Artist: pattrose
Fandom: Napoli (ballet)
Characters/Pairings: Giovanina/Teresina, Teresina/Gennaro, Gennaro/Giovanina (one-sided), Giovanina/Luigi
Rating/Category: Teen/femslash + het
Genre: Literary, slice of life, romance
Word Count: 45k
Warnings: Major character death, period-typical homophobia/gender roles, internalized homophobia, very stereotypical Italian-ness (in the vein of the original ballet), mention of alcoholism, portrayal of aborted suicide attempt (drowning), grief and depression, loss of parents, loss of partner... I think that's it.
Summary: It has been ten years since Gennaro saved Teresina from the depths of the Neapolitan Gulf and the two have lived happily together as husband and wife ever since. Meanwhile, Giovanina's and Teresina's friendship has been falling apart, due to Giovanina's feelings for Gennaro - and because of the forbidden secret she shared with Teresina when they were teenagers. But when suddenly, the Gulf claims Gennaro's life, leaving Teresina alone in her grief, Giovanina feels herself slowly circling back to her old friend who has given up all her will to live, because now they have both loved and lost, and perhaps love and loss are things that should tie two women together rather than tearing them apart.
Author's Notes: A huge thanks to pattrose for making a moodboard for every single of my chapters for this fic as well as a cover! Remember to drive by their art and give them a shout-out.





Link to fic master post: This way to read!
Link to art master post: This way to see!




I'm just putting this up here for anyone who isn't following smallfandombang, because I am so damn proud of this fic. I wrote it in a frenzy over the course of a month back in October and have been sitting on it ever since, what a wait that's been!

I hope some of you will check it out, despite being unfamiliar with the canon, as most of you probably will be. It reads more like an original work than fanfiction, as it takes place ten years after the events of the ballet. I've tried capturing the mood of "tourist postcard" that Hübbe's adaption of Napoli was, so all stereotypical-ness and such is to match the aesthetic of the original material. Also, I know "Giovanina" should ideally be spelled "Giovannina", but in the original libretto for the 19th century Bournonville performance, it is rendered like the first rather than the second, and Hübbe hasn't changed that, so neither have I. Just know, I am aware.

All that said, give a kudos or a comment if you feel like it! I'm so excited to share this baby with the world. It's been a long time in coming.

November is over. I managed to write 40k words in just under two weeks, so I'm very pleased with my progress.

At this point, I'm 13-ish scenes from finishing the 13 chapters I have planned for this novel, and I'm only now beginning to feel some fatigue. I still try not to reread, edit and worry too much about what I've already written and it does help, just to always keep going, but this morning especially I've been feeling that fear of 'it probably all sucks'. Yet, I keep on writing. I want this done, damn it.

I'm visiting a friend today, so more writing has to wait till tonight. Which is fine, we're needing somewhat of a transitional scene this time and those are the hardest ones for me to write, takes more work, both research-wise and just language-wise, so I think it's fine I take it tonight when I might have been able to put some of these writer's worries behind me and thought about something else for a while.



Yesterday was a bit crazy. K. and I both deep-cleaned the apartment and put up our X-mas tree (plastic, we reuse every year) and I had to cook dinner for us, so I was completely wiped afterwards. Still, the X-mas tree is so nice, full of baubles and our various decorations and lights, so it shines like a night sky as soon as it goes dark outside.

It's also the season for a lot of candlelight, so we go through a lot of tealights and candles at the moment, but it's so worth it with how cozy our living room looks at night. I usually take my computer into the living room (where I normally sit in the office) after six in the evening, and just sit there writing, surrounded by lights on all sides.



Also, K. has written me an X-mas calendar with 24 little chapters, one for each day until X-mas Eve, where we celebrate X-mas in Denmark, and it's a La Sylphide fanfic! It's in Danish, otherwise I would've shared, but it's so good. I just read the second chapter this morning and it's excellent, so atmospheric, poetic and just... ugh, I love my girlfriend so much. She's a keeper and she's the best.



Denmark got buried in a lot of snow over the past two days, well, 'a lot' by our standards and traffic has been a bit crazy since, due to snow on the roads, but it's very pretty and white outside, snow falling every so often throughout the day. I'm really enjoying it.



Hopfully, I'm hitting 50k tonight or tomorrow and will be a little closer to being finished with this thing. Then, I'll start sharing snippets!

Busy day today.

We went downtown in the morning to buy some tupperware, jewellery-making stuff and a picture frame, but I'd forgotten to measure the picture we needed a frame for, so that was out pretty fast. Then, the store that sells jewellery stuff was closed for repairs and we forgot tupperware in the stress of that, LOL, so all in all our greatest success today was getting medication for me and a lovely time at our favourite café with some rooibush tea with strawberry and elderflower. Very good. Not time wasted, just differently distributed that originally intended.



It's been really hot today as well, so once we got home and I had eaten lunch (K. ate lunch downtown), I grabbed a much needed nap and woke up in somewhat of a mood (probably heat-related) that dispersed once I sat down to write. I managed to finish a scene this morning (half of it was written last night before bed) and then, this afternoon I wrote the following scene which I still have to reread and do first edits on, but I loved writing it, so I hope that's gonna show in the final product. Usually, if a scene comes out very naturally, I've noticed that I tend to like the end result better. This was one of those scenes. It just kinda exploded out of me. Total flow.

Next scene, which I'll try to write tonight, is the first scene where my narrator actually faces the girl her thoughts have circled around the past, what, 62 pages, so this is gonna be a thrill, to explore their relationship. What it was and what it's got the potential to become. I'm considering whether I need a quick canon review to really catch Teresina's character and voice, but honestly, Alexandra Lo Sardo - who dances the role in the version I'm basing this fic on - lives rent-free in my headspace, so I don't actually think so.

Otherwise, it's not like it's a chore...



We've just had dinner and K. made the most delicious chicken meatball dish with a lot of herbs and red curry paste, both in the meatballs themselves and in the reduced coconut milk sauce which is divine. It was really good, although it takes a while to make, at least by our standards (we generally prefer fast cooking that doesn't take longer than half an hour at the most) and this takes about twice that. But so worth it! Served with rice and since it's the weekend, some wine and sparkling water, too. It was nice.

I cleared the table and here we are, we've lit the first candles and turned on some lamps, because although it's still only early dusk and thus fairly light out, our living room is deep and gets dark in the far end, so we've gotta counteract that with some alternative sources of light.



Also, I wore the earrings K. made for me today! They look like little jellyfish, they're so pretty! And they aren't too heavy for my ears either (I have very sensitive ears, unfortunately), so I wore them all morning. I love them a lot and hope, when the shop opens again, we can make a pair in blue (mine are pink with one freshwater pearl in one of the "arms"). Would be cool to be able to switch them up and match them to clothing, and pink and blue are our two main colours in this house.



In a moment, I'll go make a cup of tea in the new teamugs we bought and I'll sit down to edit and write. It's been a good Saturday.