don't fear the sun.

Warmest day of the year today in Denmark, all-around temperature about 30 degrees Celsius which is a lot for us.

I've spent most of the day in a frenzy, because five days ago, I ordered a small batch of my book, Lest They Leave for print with a local printing company. I've never had to get anything I wrote printed in book-format before, the closest I got was the anthology a friend and I wrote a handful of years back, but she was in charge of all the practical stuff about it, so I only got the sweet feeling of having a book shoved into my hand with my name on it, once it was all in the clear.

This time, the whole process has been my own alone. The writing, the editing, getting a cover made (though I got amazing help from a friend's brother who does this for a living) and now, ordering a batch of it printed. Only a small batch, mind, I'll get fifteen finished books and 1 proof out of it. It was expensive as all Hell, too, and ever since placing my order, I have harboured a nagging anxiety that I've made some mistake and something's bound to be wrong with the layout or design when it gets here, but. But I will be getting something and it will be mine and as my gf says. If it's completely horrible, we'll order another batch, knowing what not to do next time.

Writing this book has been such an experience. Is there anything I wish I could've done differently? Quite a lot of things, actually, and maybe one day in the future, I'll look over this and put some love and effort into a rewrite, but for now this is where I'm at with my progress as a writer. This is the best I can do right now and I'm damn proud of it! Besides the story itself, which is endlessly dear to my heart now, Lest They Leave has taught me so many things about my own working methods, my weaknesses, strengths and everything in between. I think I'll move forward from here so much wiser and with so much more experience as a writer.

And I think good things are waiting ahead.

Besides the proof that I can hopefully pick up at the post office tomorrow! That is what has kept me in a frenzy all day. The printing company texted me at 11 am and told me they'd shipped off my order (meaning just the proof, I think and hope), but then I haven't been able to track the package all day, until just a moment ago when it showed up as on its way to "depot" which I guess is for further distribution. I've never used GLS before. Anyway, I've had no rest since. And now I'm supposed to sleep in this weather before being able to see what the printing guys made of my fumbling explanations and requests... I predict insomnia tonight.

The fifteen copies are all, give or take, promised to people in my immediate circles. I think I have three or four left when everybody I've promised a copy has gotten theirs. Which is fine, I didn't do this to sell books. I just wanted to share my little story with the people who matter to me. Once I have the whole batch, I'm planning on posting the whole novel to AO3 for free reading to those of you who might have an interest in seeing what all my fuss is about. I'll probably post it chapter by chapter (there are 13 chapters all in all) over summer. Look forward to it!

For now, I got an icon with the cover art. I am waiting for my books to get here. I am working on little extra "fics" to slip into the back of each of the 15 copies. And I have a whole playlist, should anyone feel like getting in the mood for reading.

I don't think I've been more ready and more nervous for anything in my life.

I signed up for "Unconventional Courtship" a fic challenge where you have to write a fic based on a romance novel (Harlequin-style) summary and I picked one and I've written a fic and I am in a good mood.

Seeing as I have returned to CMBYN hard, my pairing in this fic is Michel/Elio (because they're my favourite), and the (altered) summary I've picked sounds like this:

A gorgeous Frenchman – with a proposal…

Michel is startled to discover that the tenant of his Senlis residence, Elio Perlman, is young, curly-haired and sensational! There is an immediate attraction between them, but despite his family’s premature plans to arrange the wedding of the year, Elio holds back, unable to let go of his past.

But the more time Michel spends with Elio, he sees that beneath his reserved façade there lies a broken heart and painful memories… Michel is determined to be the one man who can make him whole again…

I've written a 3k long fic inspired by this prompt and my posting date is June 4th. I could really use a beta, people! If anyone here is feeling up to giving me some feedback on this 3500 word long fic which is very gen/maaaaybe pg-13 and mostly just two people talking, I would be very, very happy. I'm also going to put an ad up over at betaplease. I personally don't think you need to be canon-familiar since this is a what if-AU anyway, but always happy to have a beta who has read the books, too.

I made a manip for my pairing with the template available over at unconventionalcourtship and am insanely happy with the result. Although I prefer the books to the movie, Chalamet will always to some degree be my ideal Elio while I've used Gary Cole as PB for Michel, because reasons.



I've ordered both CMBYN and Find Me in hardback, because now I'm apparenetly a collector. I've also ordered Aciman's newest release, The Gentleman from Peru, which came out a few weeks ago, so I have a whole Aciman collection. I feel obsessed, but it's just so lovely being inspired by something again...