wednesday.

Dec. 6th, 2023 07:15 pm
sunfright: Logan Marshall-Green with the text  "fuck". (a 1920s moment)




I've done it.

I've finished a novel.

17 days after opening the blank Word document and naming it "The Colour of Amber and Gold", not knowing quite what that meant yet, I'm sitting here with 189 pages. 13 chapters. 71.160 words.

I'm honestly amazed with myself. Amazed and proud.



But this also means, I feel like I can finally talk about what I've written, because now I know both where it begins and where it ends. I know the characters, I know the structure of the story.

The long and short of it can be summarized as following: She wanted to be on her way; Paris seemed as good a direction as any. When her distant older brother, Charles, involves her in his plans of ensnaring his wealthy business associate's heir, Armand Dubois, and when Charles' girlfriend, the enticing Italian actress, Eloisa Paolo, also enters the picture, Sylvie Gallard has to slowly realize that wanting to be on your way somewhere can land you in many different places.

That doesn't spoil too much, but it does indicate what kind of fucking journey this writing process has been, what a study in characters, what a study in dialogue, relations and development - in the various characters, yes, but especially in the storyline itself. This is a 'quiet' story, even if it takes place in the Roaring Twenties - or les Années Folles, as it's called in its French setting - I mean, it's me writing it, you can't expect action from me, the drama is all centered on the emotional state of especially Sylvie, so to see virtual explosions and big drama happen from that starting point? It has been such a learning process.



Originally I had intended to include an epilogue, to pick up on especially Eloisa's character, but with the function she has in the story, I decided it wasn't necessary and I didn't mind leaving the reader guessing as to what happens, so it was a bit of a surprise when I, earlier today, sat there with my finished chapter 13, realizing I was actually finished, I was fucking done.



Sure, there's a lot of editing to be done, betas to find and engage, stuff like that... But the bulk of the writing? It's over. That part isn't coming back. What a ride it has been. I'm very, very grateful.

The next coming days, I'll be reading over the novel again, just to get a first impression of it in its entirety, and I hope to share some bits and pieces from it as I go along. ♥



At the moment, the biggest question I'm left with is title. The working title was The Colour of Amber and Gold, but that isn't very catchy. I've thought about just shortening it to Amber and Gold, but that's somehow a bit anonymous and maybe just generic enough... So, I don't know. We'll see. Maybe something pops out at me during the reread. Fingers crossed.


tuesday.

Dec. 5th, 2023 10:58 pm
sunfright: Susanne Grinder and J'aime Crandall as Marguerite and Manon in The Lady of the Camellias. (manonique)




Had my biggest writing spurt so far for this writing project and managed to churn out 7k words in a day, including my two kinda pivotal scenes, the two scenes that originally made me start writing. It's a huge relief, true, but I also feel a little sad that I'm now roughly a chapter from being done with this novel altogether. If I have a just as focused day tomorrow, I should be done before I go to bed.

That's both amazing and really sad to think about.

It's been an amazing process, this round.


saturday.

Dec. 2nd, 2023 06:06 am
sunfright: Logan Marshall-Green with the text  "fuck". (screech owl)




November is over. I managed to write 40k words in just under two weeks, so I'm very pleased with my progress.

At this point, I'm 13-ish scenes from finishing the 13 chapters I have planned for this novel, and I'm only now beginning to feel some fatigue. I still try not to reread, edit and worry too much about what I've already written and it does help, just to always keep going, but this morning especially I've been feeling that fear of 'it probably all sucks'. Yet, I keep on writing. I want this done, damn it.

I'm visiting a friend today, so more writing has to wait till tonight. Which is fine, we're needing somewhat of a transitional scene this time and those are the hardest ones for me to write, takes more work, both research-wise and just language-wise, so I think it's fine I take it tonight when I might have been able to put some of these writer's worries behind me and thought about something else for a while.



Yesterday was a bit crazy. K. and I both deep-cleaned the apartment and put up our X-mas tree (plastic, we reuse every year) and I had to cook dinner for us, so I was completely wiped afterwards. Still, the X-mas tree is so nice, full of baubles and our various decorations and lights, so it shines like a night sky as soon as it goes dark outside.

It's also the season for a lot of candlelight, so we go through a lot of tealights and candles at the moment, but it's so worth it with how cozy our living room looks at night. I usually take my computer into the living room (where I normally sit in the office) after six in the evening, and just sit there writing, surrounded by lights on all sides.



Also, K. has written me an X-mas calendar with 24 little chapters, one for each day until X-mas Eve, where we celebrate X-mas in Denmark, and it's a La Sylphide fanfic! It's in Danish, otherwise I would've shared, but it's so good. I just read the second chapter this morning and it's excellent, so atmospheric, poetic and just... ugh, I love my girlfriend so much. She's a keeper and she's the best.



Denmark got buried in a lot of snow over the past two days, well, 'a lot' by our standards and traffic has been a bit crazy since, due to snow on the roads, but it's very pretty and white outside, snow falling every so often throughout the day. I'm really enjoying it.



Hopfully, I'm hitting 50k tonight or tomorrow and will be a little closer to being finished with this thing. Then, I'll start sharing snippets!


tuesday.

Nov. 28th, 2023 12:53 am
sunfright: (lost signal)




I desperately want to share a scene from my story, but I have this feeling that if I begin reading through it again before I'm done, well, I'll never be done, haha. So, I might simply wait until I reach the end and it's not like I'm close or anything, but I just reached the first big pivotal point in the set-up, so that's exciting. My main character got to kiss her love interest, that was a lovely mess. I'm especially thrilled that there, despite the era, isn't any real revelation of gay panic in the aftermath. She's shaken by the experience, because it's new, but she isn't denying her feelings or trying to suppress them. She very openly indulges them, it's only complicated because she has a future fiancé and her love interest also happens to be her brother's girl, so. That. Yeah.

Luckily, future fiancé is also queer, not that she knows that, and they're gonna have the most amazing lavender marriage when this entire fucking plot has run its course. He'll make sure of that, because he's a good guy.

The plan for her brother is that he'll finally be able to express to her that everything he does, he does for her sake, to ensure her happiness - doesn't make his actions less controlling and selfish, but at least he has good intentions that he just fails at most of the time. So far, he's one of my favourite characters to write, besides main girl herself. She's a fucking delight.



My playlist for writing is currently only consisting of this one Charleston vintage song collection, but it's a slammer, so I'm sharing it here, although it comes with the blanket warnings for the usual historical music stuff from that time, blatant sexism, stereotypes, period-typical views of gender, etc. - plus most of these artists are white, whereas the origins of the musical style are firmly rooted in the Black community and in Black history. All that, but man, it still bangs.





There's another playlist I listen to as well, but it's not as upbeat and for some reason, my typing speed adjusts to the music I listen to, LOL, almost like my fingers are dancing so at the moment, I prefer the faster, upbeat playlist, because I am apparently trying to break 40k before November is out.

I have no honest clue how long this story will end up being. I'm at 30k already, and I feel I might be little under halfway? So mid 50k, 60k? Something like that. Anyway, I suspect, when it's done, it'll be the longest story I've ever written and especially in a 'non-poetic' style (let's be real, my style is always somewhat poetic, but where the poetry isn't the point). It's not even difficult, because I absolutely love all the characters in this story, down to the minor side characters. I just love the whole gallery.

And I especially love how I don't question myself while writing this. It's such a free, liberating process. Loving it.


sunday.

Nov. 26th, 2023 04:51 pm
sunfright: Logan Marshall-Green with the text  "fuck". (sylvie)




I've been working on this story for a week now. I started Monday, it's Monday again tomorrow, and I am 700 words from hitting the 25k mark. Isn't that something?

It's not even that much about the word count, to be honest. It's the process, and this has - so far, knock on wood - been the most magical, easy-flowing writing process I've ever been a part of. I breeze from scene to scene, I don't doubt or second-guess myself, I don't force myself to revisit earlier parts to make sure it's all 100% aligned. I'm saving all those thing for the editing process that will be its own beast, for sure, but right now, I'm just enjoying this feeling of the words flowing freely from my fingers and everything being very... good. It's good.

I'm thankful for that.



I started out writing this thing, thinking it would be a lesbian love story. And granted, I still think there will be a lesbian romance in it, but we're halfway through a NaNo project here and it hasn't emerged yet, I'm guessing it's either going to be a very long novel or the romance isn't the center piece of the story at all, I just didn't know until now. I didn't realize.

Rather, I'm busy shipping the MC with her soon-to-be fiancée who is a closeted queer man and hoping to marry her for the sake of a peaceful lavender marriage, while she will soon meet her female love interest and throw all caution to the wind. And on the side, we have her rocky relationship to her brother, part co-dependency and part-complete ambivalence. It's a good one.

But honestly, I just really love my MC, I've never clicked this much with one of my own characters before and it's definitely part of the reason I can get so much writing churned out, I love her narrator's voice, I love her style of speaking and thinking and it inspires me so much to write her. The whole 1920's setting is also helping, because it's not called the Roaring Twenties for nothing, what a time to be alive.

Glad it isn't me, but yeah. What an age.



The goal isn't as much to hit the 50k mark at some point, the goal is to keep this process well and alive and going. I want to finish this story, even as I don't know exactly how it's gonna pan out. I want to see this through. I have another week of November and then it'll be December and there'll be so much escapism to do, because I hate the holidays in general, so I hope to have finished some kind of first draft before Christmas. No matter how long.

I want this story to live.



And I would very much like to always feel this alive, please and thank you.


August 2024

S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
1819202122 2324
25262728293031