wednesday.

I didn't know what to do with myself when I woke up (early, it was four am) this morning. I have been kind of erratic the past couple of days and I was preparing myself for another day of the same, of feeling bad about being unproductive, of feeling anxious at February approaching, etc. However, after a very nice visit from my social worker where we turned some thought processes over and gave me a new perspective on things, I have actually been able to exist today in the feeling of not doing anything in particular and not working towards anything specific.

Just being.

It's been nice. And as it turned out, once I allowed myself to do that, I actually and quite naturally found myself able to pursue some of the things I love to do. I read over a few more scenes in my fic for smallfandombang and am now almost through chapter 1. Reading that fic, which is a fanfic for the ballet, Napoli, gave me an urge to rewatch the ballet itself and I sat down to stream it from the Royal Danish Ballet's website where I could also steal a whole bunch of caps from, so I capped the hell out of Alexandra Lo Sardo's Teresina and updated my roleplay journal for the character with new icons. It felt very productive.

And here I am now, working on a small introduction to my love for Lo Sardo's portrayal of this character, my love for the ballet as a whole and some nostalgic navelgazing about my time as a habitual balletomane.

( Image-heavy thoughts beneath here. )

Anyway, this rediscovery of my little gem of a ballet has given me all sorts of plotbunnies for more Napoli fanfiction, so I might get to work on that for one of my many prompt tables over the next couple of weeks.