tuesday.

5am-ish

Very early morning.

Judging by the sound of rain on the office window, fall weather has finally come to bust our asses. Maybe my system will acclimatize to the new season easier that way. Or it won't. You never know with this disorder, honestly.



I could really use a cup of tea, but should probably wait an hour to an hour and a half with making it, not to wake up K. She has a long day ahead and needs all the rest she can get.

So, for now I'm just sitting here, having replied to various comments I had sitting and spent the past hour on writing the first scene for the last fucking chapter of my Napoli fic. Can't believe that's where we're at, now. At 35k words, I have a chapter and an epilogue left, so I'm guessing, we'll land around 45-50k words when I'm done with the first draft. Pretty much as planned, but the process of writing this fic has been sooooo much easier than anything I've tried before. I'm very satisfied with it. It's been fun and not draining, like working on the Omina fic was at times.

And I've really come to develop a soft spot for Giovanina as a character, her narrative voice in my interpretation is just so straight-forward and, probably not pleasant, but earnest. Honest. She says things like they are and there's so much strength to that, especially for someone like me who wraps everything up in poetics. Not gonna lie, there are definitely poetics enough in this fic, too, but the language is still different from the compact, complex prose poetry style of The Year of the Wolf.

I'm hoping to write at least one more scene today, but now that I got up in the middle of the night, we'll see how much energy I have left for writing throughout the rest of the day.



8.45am-ish

I went to grab an hour of sleep. An hour became two. That's how these things go. K.'s gone off to work, she has a long day today, so I'll be home alone for much of it. Once I wake up a bit more, I'm still a zombie rn, I'll make sure dinner is taken care of and such, so she doesn't have to worry about that on the way home.

Breakfast is done, at least. Eggs on toast, very simple. I'm rarely that hungry in the mornings, so I just need something that goes down easily and doesn't need much chewing or I lose my appetite completely. Still, I need to eat something with my pills, so eating is a requirement, not a question. Needs must and all that.

I don't have any other plans today and don't intend to make any. I had a very busy weekend and kept the momentum up yesterday, so today it's just... as much relaxation as possible. Take everything extra slow for emphasis, because my whole system still needs to wind down. It'll probably take the rest of the week before I'm really back at a comfortable state, but that only means I should relax every day this week!! Except Sunday, when I'm going to my friend, S.'s place, and we're watching Napoli together. Very excited for that, tbh. She's a very analytical and sharp mind, watching ballet with her is like getting new doors of interpretation absolutely kicked open.



Didn't wake up feeling much like writing, I can sense that, but I guess maybe if I sit down and read what I wrote in the dead of night, a little urge might rear its head anyway. It usually works that way, seeing where I let off inspires me to work onwards towards the next, and the next... That's pretty much how I manage to churn out five-ten pages every day, me who's otherwise such a slow writer.

Probably, from the other side, it doesn't look much like slowness, the pace I'm writing at, but that's because I have nothing but time to work with. If I had a job of any kind or many obligations otherwise, trust me, I'd write half a page a day and probably not every day, that's the pace I get words down at.

And that would be completely fine under those circumstances, but my life looks different now. I have the time. So I use all the time I can.

It's also a part of my medicine, after all.

tuesday.

I'm two scenes (out of six) into chapter five and I'm already feeling the foreboding writer's drop, not in energy levels or motivation, but in mood. Man, I'm one cranky writer today. I love this story and I don't want it to be over, yet I really, really want to finish it. What a conundrum.

I realized, just two seconds ago, that my Giovanina voice is totally based on inspired by Marzia from the book version of Call Me By Your Name. Same down to earth, kinda simple, but emotionally very sensitive and mature voice. So, now that I've figured that out, what's the first thing I do? Considering what exciting AU's and canon mergings could happen from that, of course. Marzia/Giovanina should be a thing. Or maybe Teresina/Marzia... Hmm. We'll see if I'm not barfing Napoli once this story is done and won't wanna touch it again for a while, or if I take the other extreme. Cling to it like a koala baby to its mother.

I did take a quote from CMBYN and used in this scene, though. I must remember to credit, when we get to posting time. It's one sentence, not much at all, but very essential to the whole core of the scene, so yes. Definitely crediting. /makes note to self