thursday.

Had major writer's block all morning which was frustrating, but I know these things come and go for me, especially right after the kind of spurt I managed Tuesday and yesterday, so for once I actually just... left it be, did other things, watched the second act of Napoli, showered, enjoyed having my gf working from home and prepared for my appointment with my social worker around noon.

We had a nice walk. The weather is still incredibly beautiful and clear (and warm for early March). I talked about my parents a lot and she was a really good listener, very understanding and emphathetic. It was nice hearing someone else legitimizing my point of view. I've been gaslighted so much in my family that I often negate or don't believe in my own experiences of things. Seeing it through someone else's eyes helps.

I was completely exhausted afterwards, though. Didn't get any writing done all afternoon either. Did get the shopping, however, and grabbed a nap afterwards which was much needed. My stamina for these things is still really low, social interaction drains me more than anything.

I don't know how my parents can still expect me to show up at a party for 40+ people.

After dinner (which was the easiest of easy things, just French toast and rye bread), my GF sat down and finished the thread we're doing in our storyline right now which was a really emotional conversation between Obi-Wan and Claude about Anakin still being alive. I am not generally an Obi-Wan fan, he triggers a lot of stuff in me, but my gf writes him so beautifully that I kinda like him now anyway? That's the beautiful thing about fanworks, I guess, new perspectives.

Finally, I opened my document for "The Year of the Wolf" and wrote two new poems, meaning I've started the second chapter, February, now. I also managed to make some basic keywords for every day until mid-February, so I have some things to work with when I sit down to write tomorrow. Hopefully that'll ensure I don't go through another day of frustrating writer's block.

Tomorrow I'm going downtown to work from the library (I also have to turn in a book that's almost due) and then, pick up my birthday present from my parents on the way home. They've asked me to buy myself something from them, so I'm getting myself the final Danish translation of Sappho's fragments that I need for my collection (three different ones were released in Denmark last year, I have the other two already as well as Carson's English translation and some guy I can't remember the name of -- his translation, too). I love comparing translation choices.

Then, in the afternoon, we'll probably clean the apartment and then I'm gonna need at least 12 hours of complete relaxation, because I am going to see a friend on Sunday, so I won't be relaxing much there. I love her, she's the best, but social anxiety is a bitch.

I slept almost six hours last night. I don't think I'd have handled today quite as well as I have, if I'd slept poorly.