tuesday.

So, went to the hospital today to review my progress and see if they could offer any additional help. After about 20 minutes talk back and forth, we agreed they couldn't offer anything at the moment and that, overall, I'm doing quite well. She wanted to see how my situation will look in six months' time when my finances might have stabilized a bit and the whole calm and quiet of disability has done its part to my constant feeling of stress. Besides that, I'll be starting a new sleeping aid to see if they can get my sleep pattern back on track. All of this should be possible to follow with my general practitioner rather than the psychiatric ward. I agree with all this and it was really nice hearing someone super qualified say it, but my anxiety is still telling me I didn't get everything said in the right way and that they won't help me because I did something wrong. All feelings I know have nothing to do with what actually happened, but they're old mechanisms and die hard, unfortunately. Luckily, I had my girlfriend with me and she supported me and made sure I knew she heard the same I did and that it was a good thing.

Now, my feelings just need to catch up.

Tonight, K. and I will be tagging after dinner and have some cozy RP time, then tomorrow I'm seeing my social worker for a final meeting before the new year. We'll be talking some X-mas strategies and make some schedules for each day between X-mas and New Year, so I have something to fall back on if it gets difficult, which it undoubtedly will at some point. Check the mail. And make new appointments for January, probably.

Drink tea, as we always do.

Furthermore, K. and I need to do the laundry, so I have some clothes for X-mas and the days leading up to it. That's on the to-do list.

Then, the rest of the day tomorrow, I'll be rewatching Kirsten Dunst in Marie Antoinette and, if there's time and energy, the RDB in Manon as well, so I can make some notes and plan out the fic I want to write for that cross-over pairing. The idea is still pretty solid in my mind.

Tonight, we're having bruschettas for dinner, kind of our go-to for easy, tasty food. Tomorrow, pasta bolognese. Also easy, tasty and wannabe Italian. We have a style, we don't try fixing what's not broken.

Anyway, there's a couple of days in the life of S. The quiet does me good, here, in the middle of all the X-mas nonsense.