sunfright | tuesday.

New Year happened. I hate New Year. It went fine and we had nice food and went to sleep early and we promised each other another year in the name of love and care and creativity together, K. and I, but I hate New Year. That feeling of "new beginnings" and "New Year resolutions", change and starting over. I hate it.

Maybe that's part of what has been weighing on me the past couple of days especially. I've been intensely creative, getting back into Takarazuka has really got me flying, but that kind of inspiration also takes its toll and today, this morning, I had to take a step back, look at the stress and restlessness I felt and think: wait, is everything all right?

I think I'm slightly hypomanic at the moment. That, or it's a mixed state. I haven't heard much from my bipolar in a year's time, so it took me a while to recognise it, but I think that's what's going on. Hopefully, now that I've pinpointed it, I can do what's necessary to ensure it doesn't turn into a nosedive. I'm trying to stay focused on a few things, creatively, and reducing my input of impressions as much as possible. Most importantly, no stress.

Hope everyone got started on the right foot on 2024!

Talking about Takarazuka. For those interested, Hanagumi's 2014 Elisabeth has been uploaded to YouTube again. It's complete with subs and everything. Check it out before it gets taken down again, it's already been up 3 weeks, so it's probably last chance! LINK! Asumi Rio isn't my favourite Death, but omg, Ranno Hana is definitely one of my favourite Elisabeths, especially in act 1!! The whole supporting cast in this is excellent, Lucheni... Franz... SOPHIE!

Once K. starts working again in two days time, I'll try to start writing my Yamashita Revue story. I think it's novella length and will start out with that scope in mind. If it grows longer, that's okay, too. I've changed my focus to another character (I have a line-up of maybe five or six at this point), and she is damn cute, that's all I've got to say. She's a bit atypical for my kind of main, so that should be fun to write! It's going to be a story with a focus on character development over romance, although there's a romance storyline to it, too. Very inspired by Tawara Machi's tanka these days...

Also rediscovered Rie Fu, incidentally, and am obsessed with her "I" album. It's so good.

Later today, I'm going downtown to pick up a birthday present and browse the mall, just to get that sense of 'getting out' and normal routines. Tomorrow, my social worker should come by. Don't know what we're doing yet. That bothers me for some reason.

I hope it isn't an indicator for how things will be in 2024.

tuesday.

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