tuesday.

[sunfright]

Despite my best intentions of not touching the Napoli fic yesterday, I ended up very much touching it and wrote three scenes more or less in one sitting. I'm halfway through chapter four (out of five, plus an epilogue) at this point, landing at a preliminary word count of 29.081 words last night, before I shut everything down before bed. Will undoubtedly have to read everything over several times today to make any sense of it, but otherwise the process was really good and I think I'm liking what came of it. I'm really loving my two main girls together. They're both kick-ass and vulnerable at the same time and it's really wonderful to be able to explore that combination.

If anything, I'm guessing I'm sitting with the bare bones of what this chapter is going to look like right now and I'll need to add to it as I begin reading it over again and edit in a moment. I think my style has become slightly more compressed and/or minimalistic since I started the fic, either/or. That happens to me a lot, that when I write longer things, I only discover my exact style of writing and structuring for a particular work as I go along and have to make adjustments to the earlier parts to make it all fit together more smoothly by the end or once I'm done with the whole thing.

I know this is a very normal part of the post-writing/editing process for a lot of writers, but for some reason it always makes me feel lazy, somehow (and please note, this never reflects badly on anyone else, only me). Like I haven't been attentive enough to details or put enough thought into what I wrote. Totally stupid, I know, but the whole sentiment of "let yourself write something that isn't good/not perfect" never rang true to me, probably because of my perfectionism issues. I swear, I'm working on it and with each fic I write at the moment, it does get better, but it's a struggle against - for me - very fundamental ideas about myself, so it's an uphill battle. Lots of climbing, lots of almost giving up halfway, because the rise is so steep.



I woke up to a Bad Day today. I think the change of seasons is really getting to me this round, I feel much more broody and melacholy and just plain sad than normally around this time. Furthermore, I think that's one of the reasons I'm hyper-focusing on this fic, it's because writing is one of the only things that brings me joy and when I'm in the process of writing, I feel better, I feel good and safe and myself again. I might go take some sedatives for it in a moment, because to be able to function the rest of the day, it would be nice not being to overly worried and anxious, honestly.

It also looks like rain today, so let's see if maybe that breaks the temperatures that have not been helping on my mood. I don't function in the heat. Some actual autumn-like weather would be a nice change. The poor trees around here don't seem to quite know whether to start turning green again or drop it all at once, LOL.



Good news, however! Last week, I announced that K., my girlfriend, had said that if we could get good tickets for the La Sylphide/Scottish Symphony performance on the 16th, we'd go. Well. Yesterday afternoon, I randomly checked the seating availability for the show and found that three seats in the middle of the first row of the parquet, you can't get more up front than that, had been released and I quickly phoned K. to get her to buy the tickets (she has our theatre card that gives discounts on stuff we buy at the Royal Theatre). She snatched them up and now we're really going this weekend!! We still need to get train tickets to Copenhagen and hotel, but it shouldn't be a problem, so we'll look into that tonight. So excited! This is my first trip to the ballet in a year and a half at the least, we went to watch Don Q in 2021, I think... Don't think it was last year, but I could be mistaken. Time blends together for me.

Anyway, I am excite!! I mean.




I hate the new costumes for La Sylphide, but I must admit, these photographs make the lighting work really well for them...



Now, I'll go make a new cup of tea and then, I'll get started on rereading/editing the stuff I wrote yesterday.

Comments

[sunfright]

I'm very excited about it. Back when we went to the ballet often, it was always a chase for the good seats, but we were attending so often that it didn't matter as much every time. Now that we don't go often anymore, it's just really important that we get the full experience.

And me too. Writing is my most effective therapy.