sunfright | tuesday.

Ended the day yesterday with a regular panic attack about health issues that are never as bad as my anxiety makes it out to be, so I fluctuated between crying meltdowns about said health issues and how I was "sure gonna die" and moments of greater lucidity where I could tell myself that even if it was half as bad as I made it out to be, I'd still live and I'd be fine. That internal battle sure sucked out the lack of my energy and I slept almost non-stop between half past nine last night until half past eight this morning.

I guess my system needed the reboot.

My anxiety is still spiking, but nowhere as bad as yesterday and I can actually concentrate on other things. Like, I really want to get this scene either started or finished or both today and that will take some non-anxiety-reserved time and energy. Yet, rather than doing that - I'm writing this journal entry, because I still haven't figured out how to begin said scene and I usually have to have a solid beginning in mind before I can get started properly.

But. I'm listening to a playlist of "The Best Italian Songs of All Time" which is, has been pointed out by a series of commenters to the video, mainly an hour of Neapolitan songs for some reason? Is Naples the main centre of good music in Italy? Best singers? I dunno. But they're very atmospheric and although I'm gonna change it to my instrumental jazz playlist in a moment, so I can actually focus without listening for lyrics, I'm really getting that "eating out at a Roman restaurant at 10 pm" feeling from it. No doubt the intention.

Once again, the weather is clear and sunny and it's no doubt gonna get hot again today. No walks for me this time, though! Not in the midday heat, especially.

Well, I better get to it.

Wait, O Sole Mio is playing and suddenly I realize what all these Italian songs give me vibes of. Call Me By Your Name! I'm totally getting Oliver and Elio in Rome vibes from this. Oh. I haven't even thought of that book in months now... Not even after I began writing this Naples-centred fic. Just two different universes. Maybe, once I've finished this fic, I should do a reread, at least of the first book. I think I've read the second one to death, pretty much. Favourites and all that.