tuesday.

[sunfright]

Had minor panic attack last night when I sat up awake, because I felt too restless to sleep. As always, during these periods when things are picking up mental health wise, I get completely obsessed with physical health instead and develop tendency to hypochondriac thoughts. I become completely sure I'm sick and dying and need to see the doctor immediately, stuff like that. It can get pretty overwhelming, though for the most part I can rationalize it away somewhat.

Otherwise I had an extremely good day yesterday, although it ended on a bit of a stressful note when K. and I had to suddenly, urgently plan a trip to Odense in a month's time, when K. is attending a Rammstein concert there. Finding a hotel at such short notice was almost impossible, but we found a solution we think might work.

I've been writing a little bit on my Omina project the past days and then on some other stuff, too, so my attention has been somewhat divided and I can feel that isn't working for me, so I'm turning my full attention back to the fic now, so I can get it done. I'm so close, almost done with November and then it's just December left... I can do this! strong girl pose

K. is going to be very busy this coming weekend, so I hope to be able to just write through Saturday and Sunday and maybe actually get somewhere good and then, finish it all up next week. That would be awesome.

Had a really good talk with my social worker yesterday which I'm still feeling really good about. We assessed that if I take a break from my therapist, I can generate that energy into our sessions instead and maybe make even more progress than we currently are. That would be great.

Also went for a nice walk earlier. The sun is out and everything looks ready for summer, although it's still on the chilly side and rather windy. I went to look at our local church which is such an old, charming building. I always loved churches, favourite spaces in the world.

Everything is blossoming right now.

Comments

[pipisafoat]

There is a part of me that wants to be going to that Rammstein concert with K. (And then there's the rest of me that has huge social anxiety, light-sensitive epilepsy, and sound-sensitive migraines.) Anyway, please wish K. a lovely concert experience (would love to hear about it!) & the both of you(?) a safe journey when that time comes.

Good luck with the social worker/therapist thing!

-Wolf (sa/they)

[sunfright]

I've been to two Rammstein concerts with her in the past (before the pandemic) and it was a lovely experience each time. So many people, such loud music and fireworks like crazy, but a wild thing to stand through. I love Rammstein's lyrics a lot and if it wasn't because I've become too sensitive to crowds and loud noise, I would totally go again. This time she's going alone. I'm a little bit concerned about it, but generally Rammstein fans are really neat and orderly people, so there is most likely no reason to be. I'll be staying behind in the hotel and wait for her to get back sometime over midnight. We're spending three days in the city where we got the hotel, so it's gonna be kind of like a mini vacation. I look really forward to that part.

[pipisafoat]

Before the aforementioned conditions that make concerts impossible, it was a life dream to see Rammstein live, and to see Nine Inch Nails specifically in Barcelona (do not remember why Barcelona, but there you go). Sounds like a lovely mini vacation for sure!

[sunfright]

I know the feeling of having a lifelong dream of something and conditions getting in the way.

How peculiar that it had to be Barcelona, but some things are like that! I always wanted to go see Lady of the Camellias in Paris, I think it's something about the story "coming home" in that city, but I'm actually not sure. It's just a dream of mine.

We'll have a fun trip and I'll talk all about it on here.