saturday.

[sunfright]

A FAREWELL TO EFFY by sunfright

Sometimes I think we’re so close that I can feel your heart beating beneath my skin.

It makes me feel guilty(...)

Until I realise, it is my own pulse.

My pulse I haven’t stolen, I’m entitled to it, but you I know I’m not entitled to, I acquired you through dishonest methods.

To your beautiful face, I therefore only tell half-truths and the true half I am mostly telling your black hair.

__________



WHAT'S GOING ON IN WRITING
Six or seven years ago, I wrote a collection of prose poems called "A Farewell to Effy", inspired by the story of La Sylphide, with the narrator being James, a mentally ill and suicidal individual, and Effy being James' girlfriend whom she is constantly fighting not to leave. The poems are small fragments of text, imitating a note-like style and all together giving the impression of a farewell letter. It is heavy, depressive reading, but I also think it's the most beautiful and most honest piece of writing I've ever done. I have an English translation up here, but I'll be locking it within the next couple of weeks, because...

Earlier, at the dinner table, my girlfriend reminded me of this collection again. She has done this on and off for years, because it's just sitting there in my Drive, untouched. I've worked it over a million times, I know it by heart, but I've never tried to get it published. I didn't think there would be any market for that kind of genre or subject matter. However, because she mentioned it and mentioned that she really thought it deserved a place in the world, I went to look at it again tonight. For the first time in years.

And I am still as proud of it as I was when I finished.

So I did something ridiculous. I ran it through once, superficially, for comma issues, did some things to the layout, wrote a letter to the publisher's and then I sent it off to a small, local publishing house here in my city. Completely spur of the moment. I just decided I wouldn't think too much about it, so if they didn't like it, it wouldn't disappoint me too much. The publisher is a newly established one, only a year or two in business, but they've published things about mental illness before, so I thought they'd be a good place to start. As good as any.

They don't have the longest turn-over time, so on the other side of New Year, I should hear from them. I'm not hoping, but I am proud.

I did something with it.

It's not just existing in my drawer any longer.

I think this is the start of something grander.

Comments

[pill]

beautiful. absolutely beautiful. you have such a huge talent when it comes to the art of writing. :)

[sunfright]

Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed! And I'm glad you like my style of writing.

[pill]

you're so welcome! ♥
i am excited for you to read some of my stuff too, because it's a subject i feel we are really going to bond over and stuff. all my stuff is on my old blog, since i just had to abruptly move here. i am considering moving all my entries from my other blog over to this one though.