monday.

It's been a day.

Started out with breakfast celebrations of my birthday with my GF who'd really gone all-out decorating the kitchen, it was so nice and pink and sunrise-y. Tea and bread from the bakery half an hour's drive away and lit candles, it was so nice. I got a new hairclip for my hair, it's so sparkly and beautiful. I have another one that looks like it, but in a different colour and she'd noticed I use it a lot, so she'd bought another one to give me something to choose from. With it, she'd bought a pair of beautiful earrings that are so light and comfortable to wear, but also super cute and pretty, they look like little apples in a sort of brown kind of stone. I love them. From my parents, I'd gotten a translation of Sappho, because I'd bought it myself, LOL. From my in-laws, I got the whole Naples-series by Elena Ferrante which I'd put on my wish list because I'm gonna write something for the ballet, Napoli, on the other side of this monster of a fic. So it's research. But it also looks genuinely interesting. I haven't read a proper novel in a very long time, so I hope this is the place to start.

Then, the rest of the morning was kind of grey and glum and I slept a lot and felt listless and restless and unmotivated, which made me feel even sadder. I didn't write until later in the afternoon, because I took imoveritanddone's advice and just... stepped back from it a bit, went for a walk, did some roleplaying, things that made me feel reenergized and creative, but wasn't tied up on this project. It helped really quickly. I got better on the other side of noon and started writing a bit again from 3 o'clock and onwards and have been writing since. It all came back full-force. It was a nice discovery, that I don't have to be afraid of "losing" it if I'm not on it 100% all the time.

K. got home early from work and we had tea and cake in the kitchen, still all decorated with lit candles. Now, we've just relaxed in the late afternoon, preparing for dinner. We're having roast chicking legs in the oven which is lovely and easy and delicious.

Tonight, we're probably just gonna sit around, showing each other YouTube clips and then, doing our own things. I have reached my writing goal for today, but might write a few poems more now that I'm feeling it.

We'll see.

It's been a day. It's been a birthday.

monday.

Lovely, quiet evening only marred by a single trigger episode that my GF and I were fortunately able to solve through some back and forth talk. I love her so much, she's too good for this world. We don't deserve her, any of us.

I'm tired and will be heading to bed soon, but first I need to excitedly squee about the fact that in about 200 words, I'll be hitting the 40K mark on my fic and this is both exhilerating and terrifying, tbh.

I'm more than halfway through September now and we're slowly bleeding into the next major part of the story which I'm really excited about, but also a bit nervous, because it's the final stage of the Amazon's travels and I so want it to be good, fuck.

Also just as a process. I want the process to be the best it possibly can.

And I'm kinda still finding my way around that. Good thing there's a new day tomorrow.