tuesday.

I feel better today. Haven't slept through the night due to general coughing/sneezing/flu wanting out of my body, but enough to feel pretty energetic and optimistic.

So, I went downtown to pick up some books about angels at the library (got one about angels in Christian dogma and a spiritual guide to guardian angels, just to cover my bases), then picked up the X-mas present I'd ordered for K. on the way and, while I was at it and because there was a men's wear store just across the hall of the shopping mall, I bought my dad's X-mas present as well. Two very nice quality t-shirts. He didn't have a lot of wishes to choose from and I always feel kinda awkward buying underwear for him, so this was the middle ground. I especially liked one of them which was discreetly striped in white and light blue and with a French flag stitched into the breast pocket.

Now I need to make a cup of tea and just relax for the rest of the day.

I'm trying to reach my social worker, but my busted phone is making it somewhat of a challenge. I think our appointment tomorrow is cancelled or moved, but if it's moved, I need to know when to. So, lots of calling and only getting her answering machine. I really, really need a new phone, but I'm not sure we can actually afford it right now and besides, January sales would be a good time to get one... But it might simply not last that long, I don't know.

Trying to simply welcome whatever happens in regards to this, but I'm too accustomed to worrying a lot.

My doctor called back re: my blood work and lithium looks fine again, thank God. Instead, it seems my metabolism is off once more. It does like to spike sometimes when we regulate other components of my medication and I think it's just a one-time deal, but we have to check up on it, so I'm set for another round of blood work in January. I never get tired of getting pricked by needles. /sarcasm

Update: Got a hold of my social worker and we're just calling this week off, meeting up next week. There's no acute need for action right now anyway and I've just been sick, so we decided it could wait.

Now I just think I need to get a hold of a physical calendar to start plotting my appointments into, either until I get a new phone or if, as I'm planning, I get an old-fashion/no internet specimen, that'll just be how I keep track of my schedule from here on out. I want a phone that can simply text and call people, I don't need the rest - I have my computer for that.

I feel like such an old, grumpy grandma, saying that, but honestly, all that modern technology just stresses me out needlessly, so as long as I can avoid it as much as possible, I will do just that.

It won't be forever, but it can be for now.

tuesday.

Things I watched today...

Saw the first two-thirds of Affinity, the film version of Sarah Waters' novel of the same name. Period film, Victorian era, a visitor at a woman's prison and the inmate who manages to get inside her head and her heart. I always thought Tipping the Velvet and especially Fingersmith were better than Affinity which is much darker and drearier, but upon a rewatch I really love the concept of clairvoyance and spirituality mixed with romance. It works really well here, too. Can't compare it to the novel, since I've never actually managed finishing a single of Waters' works in writing, sorry to say. Her style just doesn't appeal to me, no matter how much I love the concepts and stories by themselves.

Affinity also really captured some of the themes I want to write about. The side story between the MC and her brother's wife is right out of my story, actually.

Later, after a horrendous second trip into town, K. and I watched Encanto together again and it was really nice and relaxing. And moving, because the way that movie conceptualizes generational trauma? Ooof, hits home every time. I was sobbing at the end.

It has made me feel very thoughtful about my own relationship to my parents. Not sure that's a good thing right before bed, to be honest.