tuesday.

[sunfright]

I'm up very, very early, but also planning on going into town relatively early (8am) to get a spot at the library and do first half of my daily read-through/editing rounds there. Like I said, just a change of scenery. My usual library (although not the one closest to me) is open from 8am onwards till late in the evening. I'm not going to be there all day, though. Planning to sit in until around 10-11am and then, walk into town (it's a stone's throw from our main shopping district) and pick up some things at a hobby store there. Once I've done that, I'll grab a bus home.

And I'll most likely need a nap when I get back. Outings like this, while vital to my sanity, always take a toll on me. I'm literally wiped afterwards, especially these days where everything is extra busy thanks to the holidays.



Doing first editing round of chapter 7 right now. I'm a bit down on my confidence. And for a stupid reason. Yesterday, I advertised for a beta reader at a Danish Facebook group and posted my pitch for this novel to show what kind of story people would be signing on for, and two women replied, both to tell me that my English wasn't good. One of them rewrote my entire pitch and said, but it's okay, I know English sentence structure is hard, I'm a grad student in English at university.

And while part of me was like, okay, yeah, I know that, but my English is fine, my writing is a stylistic choice, the bullied part of me immediately recoiled and I've felt a little bit uncertain and embarrassed about my English since. Like, even now, writing this, I have this feeling that "I'm bad at English" which I logically know isn't the case.

So, yeah. Editing today is gonna be an interesting experience, after that... I just hope I'll feel a bit uplifted once I'm done.

I was so proud of this story 24 hours ago. Now, I just feel insecure and question everything. Even things that don't have shit to do with my English, but is to do with how I've decided to tell the story. Ugh.



My parents are coming for holiday celebrations (since we aren't spending X-mas with them this year, but with K's parents) and X-mas present pickup on Saturday and I'm a bit torn on it. On one hand, I kinda look forward to it. On the other, I am as always apprehensive and preparing for the chance that it might be awkward and not... well, just awkward. At least, I'm in a better place mentally, so I should be able to navigate it more successfully than in the past.

Here's to hoping.



Editing should be over by Friday. That's one thing off my shoulders. Then, once my parents go home Saturday afternoon, I have a week that I need to fill out with something, because the X-mas craze really starts. We're staying home this year, because K's parents live right next door (not literally, but almost), so we can walk home from their place easily. The 23rd, a friend of mine is dropping by for tea while K's out on X-mas visits with her parents. After that, 23rd and 24th, I am foreseeing I'll be completely mentally mauled, so will probably need a few days to rest it out.

Those are my X-mas plans this year.