sunfright | tuesday.

Everything has grinded to a halt. I think I'm showing some stress symptoms, I definitely don't feel like myself at my best, so I've just... cleared my calendar the next two days, before the next big things hit me over the weekend. Cancelled my meeting with my social worker tomorrow, and with her apprentice Thursday, so I have those days to just... get back on my feet. Before the concert Friday. My dad's birthday Sunday, K's dad's birthday the week after. Everything is just stacked on top of each other, I don't really feel like I get to catch a break, you know?

Life, as Michel (Find Me, André Aciman) would say.

To distract myself, but at the same time, to relax, I have made a small pile of my English Sappho translations as well as my pretty anthology of Ancient Greek poetry and intend to skim some of those things so I can RP Gorgo from the Fragments of Sappho. Original character, mentioned maybe four times in the poems, some sporadic info taken from these, and placed in an alternate history where Ancient Greece has survived to this day. I really like that scenario. It's fun.

I might also dig out Fani Papageorgiou's poetry collection, The Purloined Letter, because it really fits the vibe I get from my take on Gorgo.

Got Germaine's manifest outlined and can finish it now whenever I feel like it. Am still waiting to find the courage to return to my Omina fic. Slowly giving up the hope that I will be able to finish it in time for the Be the First deadline, though. Not seeing it happen that fast with my mental health in tatters like this, but I am at least getting the excitement for the project back, so that's something. That means it'll happen. At some point. Soon-ish.

For now, I'm just playing around, because that's literally all the energy I have. I can't do anything too serious, I will drive myself into the ground, if so.

I'm trying to be wise and experienced about this, knowing my own patterns, feeling my body, what it needs, what I need and I'm doing okay, but it's also messing with my head like fuck.

Tired of fighting all the damn time.

Tired.

Just that.

tuesday.

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