sunday.

Grumpy Sunday.

Didn't get enough sleep last night (3 hours between 10 pm and 1 am and a couple of hours between 6 - 9 am) and I am feeling the effects of it. My mood's really easily aggravated and I get testy and moody about the dumbest shit. Doesn't help that my gf is feeling the effects of her Saturday work day and doesn't have much energy or patience for my mood swings, so the apartment is a kinda tense place to be right now.

This happens sometimes and it's okay, I know it'll pass, it's just frustrating and I just wanna feel better, enjoy the beautiful weather (will be going for a walk with a friend later today, so that's good) and write. But my mood means that I'm also extremely self-critical about my writing and it took me an hour writing 120 words earlier, because I kept changing things and deleting and starting from scratch. I hate that kind of mini writer's block, it's the worst feeling, tbh.

I am counting on getting some poems churned out next week instead. Maybe tonight, if the walk helps me cheer up somewhat.

I'm cooking tonight. We were supposed to have this dish yesterday, but I didn't have the energy to make it, so we had Chinese take-away instead and saved the ingredients for today. It's ribeyes (they were on offer) with... I don't know what they could be called in English, but the Danish term translates to "smashed potatoes" and it's basically boiled potatoes (with peels) gently crushed beneath the bottom of a glass and brushed with olive oil (a lot of it), seasoned with salt, pepper, thyme (I use fresh bc we have it right now, but it can be dried) and then in the oven for some time, until they're crispy around the edges, but moist and soft inside. It's delicious. I could eat them like candy, really.

So, I'm looking forward to that! Nice food always makes me feel really happy.

Even if cooking stresses me out like nothing else. Minus family dinners and such, maybe, haha.

Will also be looking into getting fanficfeedback up and running next week. I'm so glad a couple of you have already shown interest! I'll be using it myself while working on this project of mine, definitely.

And probably every Fannish Fifty 2023 entry after that, LOL.

sunday.

The walk really helped. The weather was astonishing, so bright, clear (and cold, but it got better during our two hour long trip around the nearby forests) and my friend's dog is such a charming creature, it's therapeutic to walk with a dog - especially when you're not the one doing the actually logistics of it, but just getting to watch all the fun and games.

Flowers are budding everywhere in the forest floor and it was insanely inspirational, considering that I'm writing the March section of my Omina fanfic where much of the same is happening, so seeing it in realtime is just, so nice.

I cooked dinner and it was delicious. I've rescheduled with my therapist tomorrow (until later in the same day) and will be going to the library before we're meeting to get my daily writing done.

Today, the final wordcount I've ended out on is 10.108 which is amazing, I'm a third through the month of March and at this pace, I'll be managing a few months every week. It would be so helpful, if I could do that. I might even finish in time.

It's just nice that a day that started out really poorly has become bearable and even good. Dare I hope for a good, productive week waiting ahead?

Spring has left me hopeful, in general.

Not sure I should trust this feeling, but it feels too good not to.