thursday.

[sunfright]

ON FACING THE WORLD WITH CONFIDENCE by Lucius Seneca

Whoever expects punishment, receives it, but whoever deserves it, expects it. Where there is an evil conscience something may bring safety, but nothing can bring ease; for a man imagines that, even if he is not under arrest, he may soon be arrested. His sleep is troubled; when he speaks of another man's crime, he reflects upon his own, which seems to him not sufficiently blotted out, not sufficiently hidden from view. A wrongdoer sometimes has the luck to escape notice, but never the assurance thereof. Farewell.

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EMPIRE - BETH CROWLEY

I have been listening to this song on repeat since I found it. It's Game of Throne-inspired, but it also fits my character, Sarica, extremely well, so now it's on his playlist as well as on my f**** brain. I'm legitimately obsessed, I think. You're welcome.

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WHAT'S GOING ON IN RL
Well. I can't believe it's only been a month since we decided to start the whole disability process. It feels like so much longer and although a lot of things have been set into motion (doctor's reference, papers from my internship workplace, etc.), some big ones are still waiting on the horizon and giving me sincere and severe anxiety. At the same time, a lot of things are going on privately that I can't go into detail about, but it takes so much energy and I'm just so... done with being drained all the time. I want it to stop, I want it to be over. Can't I blink and MAGICK, it's done???

We went to the ballet last week and it was amazing being back, in those red velvet seats and watching an actual performance. The cast was my favourite and especially the male lead did a phenomenal job. I know Holly, who danced Kitri, and I also know this wasn't her best, but she looked tired and sometimes things are just off. However, all in all, it was a very enjoyable performance and there were definitely aspects of it that I loved. All of the second act was stellar.

I hope they keep it in the repertory for a good long time to come. I wouldn't mind seeing it again.

Had a horribly triggering experience Sunday that stayed with me long into Monday and it was really awful and I was just dissociating and tired and completely down, but K. helped me turn it over in my head and work it out somewhat, so now it's better and I know what went wrong. Old school stuff, news at eleven.

All in all, status right now? I want this year to be over. And we're only halfway through, joy.

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WHAT'S GOING ON IN RP/FANDOM
All this Anakin/Sarica PSL'ing we're doing has, of course, led to me not only watching most of Clone Wars, but now the new Kenobi show as well. I really like it, it's amazing acting work all-over and the whole mood is just... shudders. I'm not good at watching shows, series or movies, unless they're on the short side, because my focus fails me underway, but so far this has been going pretty well. It holds my interest, that's a quality stamp.

I've found a beta for my unconventionalcourtship story over at betaplease and am waiting to hear back, but I'll hopefully be done in time to post over the weekend. I'm getting pretty excited to share this one, I'm really pleased with it!

Furthermore, I've almost finished my genprompt_bingo card! I'm one prompt away from a black-out and I already have an idea for that one, too. Very excited to get to post everything I've worked on with this card, it's been insanely inspiring and really kept me going creativity-wise and writing-wise.

I have a PSL going besides the one K. and I are doing that is finally taking off the ground as well, so that could be potentially exciting. Tagging has slowed down a bit with Sarica in general, though, because I've had to cut off some toxic players, but I think I can gain momentum again once things settle in private. For now, it's plenty and that part of my life, at least, is working out fine.

I welcome it.