sunday.

[sunfright]

It's Sunday.

Emotional hangover day.

I've been anxious, had minor panicky feelings and dealing with a lot of childish longing for my parents that I at the same time feel really ambivalent and/or in opposition towards. A strange mix of emotional responses, really.

Maybe for that reason, I woke up at four am and managed to churn out 1000 words for the Napoli fic I've been working on. Scene 1 is mostly done and I can move onto the second scene of the first chapter tonight when K. gets back from her brother's birthday.

Dialogue is my big Achilles' heel and eternal struggle, because I on one hand really want a snappy, modern feel to it, but at the same time I'm a sucker for introspection and I like fleshing out the motives behind at least some of the words said. Usually, with stuff taking place in the 19th century or there-abouts, the balance comes more naturally to me. Because this fic takes place mid-60s, I feel like I need a fresher flow, somehow. Difficult to explain.

Next scene I'm writing is non-dialogue, more an atmospheric introspective thing, some observations of characters and motivations and such. My favourite kind of stuff to write, honestly. Quiet existence.

Distractingly, I feel a slight urge to roleplay, which I haven't otherwise for a few days. I think I might just ignore it. At length, it doesn't give me anything positive or add anything constructive to my life, so for now, I might just call it a hiatus and take it from there. Writing is much more rewarding to me. And now that K. is going to sit down and write one of her major Star Wars fics, too, we can work on each our own - but be together in the process. That should be nice.

I kinda really want to share what I've written already with someone, but I can't post any of it for it to count towards the smallfandombang challenge, so I guess I'll have to find someone in private who can and wants to read it.

However, I also seriously need to find playlists to listen to while writing this Napoli fic. I've listened to some Italian music from the 60's and that works to some extend. I've also been listening to Camila Cabello's Havana quite a lot for mood. I have some Italian pop playlists saved from playing Elio and some of them might get reused for this. Desperately, I've even listened to the score for the ballet to get the right feel and that also works, but only to some extend. So far, my best shot has been Carte Blanche's jazz cover of Tu Vuo Fa l'Americano which I listen to on repeat at times. It has the perfect sound!

Watch on YouTube

Audio-wise, this fic might just end up being a real patchwork. Don't know how to feel about that... I guess, as long as the writing doesn't mirror that, haha.

We'll see.