wednesday.

[sunfright]

I think I'm slowly figuring out how to... exist within this vacuum that has grown around me after turning my Omina project in to my two betas. I thought I needed to stay close to the project, write side stories and similar in-universe ideas, but today - after an incredibly bad day yesterday, I almost didn't sleep any and I forgot my morning medicine - I can feel that now that it is done, I actually need to distance myself from it as much as possible until it is time for me to edit it and go through that whole process.

Currently, the answer for me is RP'ing. Yesterday I had a bit of panicky situation where I couldn't choose neither who to play or how to go about it, but today is calmer, more collected. I got up before noon. I even went shopping for groceries.

And I've gotten to play! I've picked up an old familiar face, Marguerite from Dumas'/Neumeier's The Lady of the Camellias which is one of my all-time favourite books/stories/ballets. I play her mainly from the ballet, but use the book for reference in regard to speech patterns, general dialogue and such. She feels a bit like my comfort blankie right now, like I know this character so well, it's like sucking my thumb.

The thing is, by God, I need that right now. Not to have any more high-ceiling projects and ambitions and ideas. I just need to relax and have fun and wait for the work to begin again when the verse novel comes back into my hands. She is the easiest way to do that. Comfort is the easiest way to achieve that complete calmness. Destress.

As such, to canon-review, I'm going to watch all three Lady of the Camellias ballet recordings that are available FOR FREE on YouTube. If anyone has nine and a half hours to kill, go watch them back to back. The full scope of this story and these characters will become clear. I begin tonight with the filmed version by Hamburg Ballet from... is it from the 70s or the 80s? Early 80s maybe. Anyway, it's with Marcia Haydée as Marguerite and while she was never my favourite, it's evident why she originated the role, ok. Old-school prima, right there. Then, tomorrow, I will be re-visiting the Paris Opera Ballet version from 2008 that I have seen so many times and am forever crazy about and finally, I'm going to watch the full recording of Bolshoi Ballet's production Friday with Svetlana Zakharova. I have mixed feelings about consuming Russian media right now, but since it's not an official upload but a bootleg, I don't think they're making any money off of it, so I'm going to use that as my excuse. Last, but not least, I'm going to reread the chapter(s) of the book with Marguerite's diary and letters in, to polish her voice a bit again, though I'm fairly confident in how I write her.

In other old news, I've been listening to Chopin all day, mainly his waltzes (Zimerman) but also his second concerto (also Zimerman) and ballade no. 1 played by Cho Seong-Jin, though I do love Zimerman's version of those, too. Right now, though, it's the waltzes I'm really jamming to. They're so festive and light, compared to a lot of Chopin music...