wednesday.

[sunfright]

EPIGRAM by Paul the Silentiary

Let's tear our clothes off, my beautiful, and come together with naked limbs entwined.
Let there be nothing between us: that flimsy coverlet you're wearing seems like the wall of Semiramis;
let our chests and our lips be joined - and let the rest be hidden
in silence. I hate it when people say too much.

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Okay, so I found the most gorgeous person to ever exist and you can't convince me otherwise. Wow.

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THE FIRST DISCIPLE - TAMINO

And Gorgeous Person dropped a new song a few days ago. It's got serious Judas/Jesus vibes and reminds me of the 2000 recording of Jesus Christ Superstar, except indie and actually soulful.

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WHAT'S GOING ON IN RL
The past day and a half have been shit. Lots of things set into motion. My social worker has been informed and we're all meeting tomorrow to talk my situation over - but that required a lot of pacing nervously and calling different people to hear who could partake in the meeting with me and fretting about that and being nervous and not knowing what will come of it. Whether anything real will come of it.

I honestly think I need this to stop. Being a part of this system that throws me up against the wall and doesn't catch me when I come sliding down. All these procedures and contacting a million people and being available for internships and work and constant communication.

I need there to be peace in my life. I need there to be quiet.

My life feels like work right now. There's nothing in it but worry and fatigue. Nothing.

I need that to stop. I guess that has to be the attitude I approach that meeting with tomorrow.

Change.

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WHAT'S GOING ON IN FANDOM/RP
1. unconventionalcourtship

I finally landed on a prompt for the unconventionalcourtship challenge that I've signed up for and have to have a fic done by June 6th.

185) Slave Prince by Juliet Landon
SHACKLED TO A SLAVE!

For ex-cavalry officer Sarica, martial duty always comes first. His task to escort the Efithian emperor's latest captive should be easy. But one look at his fiery slave and Sarica wants to put his own desires before everything else! For the rebel, Nese, his powerful, battle-honed captor, has his head in conflict with his heart. Bound by a new-found bondage of emotions, it's not long before Nese wonders whether he wants to come out of this perilous journey to the Capital with his virtue intact…!

I've really tweaked the plot a bit, but I think the general feel of it remains the same, so we'll see if it doesn't come out with a tiny bit of that romance novel sensuality. So far I've written 5/6 scenes and am going to work on the final scene today, hopefully finishing either today or tomorrow. The fic is currently 2730 words long and will probably end on a count of ~3500, tops. Next step will be to find a beta reader.

Is there anyone on my friends list who would like to do me that huge favour? Or who can tell me where to look? Back on LJ, there were communities for these things, but I have no idea where anything is anymore...

I need it beta read before June 4th, so I have some time to do final edits and will, of course, credit. The fic takes place in the same universe as my Timachus fics, an Ancient Rome/Greece-inspired fantasy world with magic controlled by the temple and legislation divided between a non-magic Senate and the Sacred Council, the two spheres that Sarica moves between. To fit the summary of the romance, this particular story works with the idea of an Emperor, but that's a minor AU, the rest is still in place.

I'm super bad at rating my stories, but I thiiiiink this will be Teen+. Not mature or explicit. There are elements of slavery and grooming, as well as major power imbalance involved and if any of these things squick you, it's definitely a do not read.

Mostly I need a beta reader who will work with my ESL habits, the worst typos, spelling and grammatical errors and, over all, to look at the story and tell me if it makes sense on its own without prior introduction to other fics in the universe/about this character.

Any input is much appreciated, thank you!

2. Other Sarica projects

This unconventionalcourtship fic will also count for my prompt, Someone is captured for genprompt_bingo and besides that I have a fic about Sarica planned for the Attempted bribery prompt as well, so I have lots of writing to do the coming week, I think. That's a relief, because I need something to cling to, escapism, when everything in my life is so absolutely shitty.

3. Sarica/Anakin Skywalker

Yes, you read that right. Happy May the Fourth be with you day. K. and I are doing another crazy cross-over. AUing Efith to be a planet in the Star Wars universe and crashing Anakin on it leads to things like this... It's dark and gritty and kind of uncomfortable with a lot of grooming, manipulative vibes, but sometimes that's what you're in the mood for, I guess and it's really interesting for me playing another type of character than I would normally. Though, I must admit, Big Dom Energy seems to be a thing I do occasionally return to.

We've done three threads already and they've all been intense, UST-ish, eye-fucking and word fencing ones. Very satisfactory. I look forward to seeing where it goes. Originally we were only going to do one or two, but then one kind of took the other and whooosh, here we are. We have a whole plotline planned. Not as enormous and slowburn as Elio/Lucifer, buuuut I think this might save the galaxy? I don't know.

4. Clone Wars

Full disclosure, I'm not a Star Wars fan. I watched the Anakin-focused triology when it came out, because my father insisted on taking me and they never made much of an impression. I think he might also have showed me the original three movies, but those I don't remember either. I saw the first of the newest trilogy and then... nothing after that... But K. is a huge Star Wars fan, it's been a big part of her life and it's kind of fun sharing a fandom with her now, in RP, that's so close to her heart. I learn a lot about her that way. Since she's playing Anakin from the Clone Wars series, we've been sitting down to watch some episodes of that and I've actually quite enjoyed it! More than any of the movies. I think it's the short run time (~20 minutes) and the animation kind of speaks to me, I think it's expressive and very well done. The themes interest me and the voice cast is amazing. Just amazing - and that's just from the three episodes I've watched so far. I'm really enjoying it and look forward to seeing more.

So maybe I can safely say: May the Fourth be with you today.